So I have been in alot of thought over the last week and toying with the scary idea of leaving my family behind and going to visit Val. Those of you who know me know that I've been fighting this urge for the last year! I think it was maybe Friday that I began to think about truly going and having a "purpose" for going. Along with visiting my sister and her family of course, I wanted to have something to do or something to take, some way of helping. I thought of raising money to accomplish that but did not ( and still do not) quite know what that idea may look like. So I had been thinking about this all weekend and chatting with Phil about it. Then last night my dad, Dennis calls me and was like I have a free spot in my bbq schedule and was thinking of doing a fundraiser for Val what do you think? Wow, now that seemed to be God telling us what needs to be done! :-) It made me smile and I knew that this was something we need to do but I was still wrestling with what my "role" was. So after many tears and alot of "I can't possibly leave my girls" and a complete meltdown last night, I realized that I'm always going to want to go, and I'm never going to want to leave my family. I decided to take a walk and then sleep on it. This morning between alot of noisy girls and breakfast I decided to open my bible and see what God may have for me. I randomly opened to a page and stared a
t it. Then I noticed that written in very small print, in pencil, at the very bottom was a reference. I have know idea why it was there but it said Ephesians chap 4. Ok, so I thought maybe I should turn there. I did and Ephesians 4:1 says "As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received." I kind of laughed and thought surely I wasn't reading it right or it really meant something else because it sounded pretty clear that God was telling me to follow my calling. With that I even said out loud "God, seriously (we chat like this all the time, just me and God) if you want me to do something your going to have to show me. And be clear what you want me to do!" So I decided to check out the Message version on my ipad and see how it read. Ephesians 4:1, "In light of all this, here's what I want you do to. (I'm sure my mouth was now hanging open, didn't I just ask him that?) While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I wanted you to get out there and walk-better yet, run! on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere." This left me dumbfounded. I know I can be so stubborn but I guess God can still get through. So I've decided to listen, stop being "Jonah" and to go.
After making that decision, everything seemed to fall into place. I begun to think about my children. My family are in fact the single most reason this decision was so difficult. My family and friends have been more than willing to help with the girls and I am truly blessed by that. But I still dreaded having them jostled around each day and their little schedules rearranged daily. An evening conversation between Phil and I hinted on "maybe we need a nanny!?!" LOL, little chuckles and that was all that was said. But in the next 12 hours my mind begun to race. A nanny is perfect, and even better yet my sister-in-law has nanny experience and now her own business in which she may be able to be flexible enough to actually come and help me out. A long conversation later that day finalized it. She is so sweet and so much a blessing for coming here and helping my family with this transition. Thanks Julia!
I'll be leaving in June to go and follow that calling. Along with re-connecting with my sister I'm planning on seeing through a dream of hers. The church she attends, the church that Appolinaire pastors, has mostly widowed women there that have no trade, or way to make a living for themselves. Her vision began by just wanting to teach them something. With lots of prayer and Val and I putting our brains together we've decided to help the women start sewing. Hopefully we will be able to get them started by suppling some of the sewing machines, location and materials to do this. We are hoping that this will not be another "program" but something that the women can take pride and ownership in. By guiding them in the right direction and teaching them basic skills and how to run a business we hope to enrich their lives in hope.
There are still many details to finalize. So pray with us as things come together in the next few months. We are planning a BBQ fundraiser soon. More info to follow!
Blessings!
