Just when you start thinking "I'm so glad I'm not like that" it creeps up on you. It comes in many forms. Most are horrid. Most are the normal gimmies or thinking "how much stuff is there?" ~ a quote Larry from Veggie Tales Madame Blueberry. Some are hanging out with depression. But some are lurking in sadness.
Jealously.
My normal jealous tendencies hang out with my depression. When I want to switch bodies with that women I pass in the grocery store or the one I get my sweat on beside in the gym, that would be my jealous self.
But lately there is another one that pops up on facebook. When your tagged in their pictures and that little brown skin, brown eyed boy shows his face, it comes. I find my self hating that they are with you. Holding MY nephew. And I hate them. Not them as a person and certainly not their work in His kingdom, but totally undeniably hate that I'm not them at that moment. The pictures are all double sided. I love them and then I cry. I'm sure you do the same. And it sucks. God and I are working on this monster I have, and I pray that someday it gets smaller. But for now it lurks and is damaging to my soul.
I have a feeling it's mutual. And for that I'm sorry.
