To the man in the blue jeep checking me out today,
Yes, I have a pretty nice, black, gangsta looking expedition. It's big and dark and yes would take your vehicle out in a second. And yup my driving is better than most women on the road and this chick is jammin to music. But what you don't see through my tinted windows are my 3 most treasured possesions ever. My babies. And we are jamming and singing prasies to our God. I'm a honest woman dedicated to my husband for the last 15 years. So go ahead and look but you have no chance and I don't think I'm what you are looking for anyways.
Blessings,
Angela
8.12.2013
My green-eyed monster
Just when you start thinking "I'm so glad I'm not like that" it creeps up on you. It comes in many forms. Most are horrid. Most are the normal gimmies or thinking "how much stuff is there?" ~ a quote Larry from Veggie Tales Madame Blueberry. Some are hanging out with depression. But some are lurking in sadness.
Jealously.
My normal jealous tendencies hang out with my depression. When I want to switch bodies with that women I pass in the grocery store or the one I get my sweat on beside in the gym, that would be my jealous self.
But lately there is another one that pops up on facebook. When your tagged in their pictures and that little brown skin, brown eyed boy shows his face, it comes. I find my self hating that they are with you. Holding MY nephew. And I hate them. Not them as a person and certainly not their work in His kingdom, but totally undeniably hate that I'm not them at that moment. The pictures are all double sided. I love them and then I cry. I'm sure you do the same. And it sucks. God and I are working on this monster I have, and I pray that someday it gets smaller. But for now it lurks and is damaging to my soul.
I have a feeling it's mutual. And for that I'm sorry.
Jealously.
My normal jealous tendencies hang out with my depression. When I want to switch bodies with that women I pass in the grocery store or the one I get my sweat on beside in the gym, that would be my jealous self.
But lately there is another one that pops up on facebook. When your tagged in their pictures and that little brown skin, brown eyed boy shows his face, it comes. I find my self hating that they are with you. Holding MY nephew. And I hate them. Not them as a person and certainly not their work in His kingdom, but totally undeniably hate that I'm not them at that moment. The pictures are all double sided. I love them and then I cry. I'm sure you do the same. And it sucks. God and I are working on this monster I have, and I pray that someday it gets smaller. But for now it lurks and is damaging to my soul.
I have a feeling it's mutual. And for that I'm sorry.
1.07.2013
Trich
So Rudolph and Del-mar are doing well :)
She's telling me when she "needs hair", so the openness seems to be working. The frantic look and desperation in her voice when she tells me this is reassuring that this is very real.
We've taken out the shame and scolding which was only because we were ignorant to the disease. Openness and positivity has been life changing.
I don't believe we found newly pulled hair so that tells me it's working. Little prickly hairs tell me it's true!
It will be interesting to see how her anixiety and stress is handled when she starts kindergarten in the fall. She is so looking forward to it! I think I'm more nervous than her. I'm ready for it and I'm not. If trich comes back full force homeschooling is always an option that I'd be for 100%.
The hairball that Alyssa carries around is still a bit weird to me, but I'll take weird before bald little girl any day.
Well that's where we are at today. I feel good, happy with the changes we've made as a family.
I thank God daily for my 3 beautiful children who may have issues but they are ultimately happy and healthy that is huge!
She's telling me when she "needs hair", so the openness seems to be working. The frantic look and desperation in her voice when she tells me this is reassuring that this is very real.
We've taken out the shame and scolding which was only because we were ignorant to the disease. Openness and positivity has been life changing.
I don't believe we found newly pulled hair so that tells me it's working. Little prickly hairs tell me it's true!
It will be interesting to see how her anixiety and stress is handled when she starts kindergarten in the fall. She is so looking forward to it! I think I'm more nervous than her. I'm ready for it and I'm not. If trich comes back full force homeschooling is always an option that I'd be for 100%.
The hairball that Alyssa carries around is still a bit weird to me, but I'll take weird before bald little girl any day.
Well that's where we are at today. I feel good, happy with the changes we've made as a family.
I thank God daily for my 3 beautiful children who may have issues but they are ultimately happy and healthy that is huge!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)