In the car...
"Mama, what does Heaven look like?"
My first answer was "I dunno honey, what do you think?"
"Pretty" she replied
"I'm sure it is! I think the roads are golden and sparkly. And I think there are castles to live in, and always beautiful sunshine."
Yup, I'm sure God loves sparkles as much as I do!
We went on to discuss the "no crying, no sickness, no sadness", so on and so on.
Then with the most excitment I've seen in a conversation not having to do with candy...
"Mama, when I see Jesus I'm going to go up and sit on his lap and hug him because he's the best daddy ever!" This made me smile through the lump in my throat and stinging eyes.
The only response I could get out is "aren't you lucky you have two special daddy's that love you so much!?"
"uh huh!" she replied.
That must've gotten her wheels turning. Three days later at bedtime...
"Mama, when we will get to go to Heaven?"
This is what gets me. I don't want to think of leaving these sweet girls.
"Well honey, when your older and your body gets tired."
"Elsie (my parents elderly neighbor) is old. And Happy Pappy (my brother-in-laws father) is old too."
"Yup, they may get to go before us." I say
"Or maybe when Jesus decides he wants someone with him." was my reply, and I was happy with it.
I didn't want to corner myself for the next time she picks up word of someone younger taken too early.
"What does Jesus look like? How will I know it is him?" she questioned
"Oh you'll know! He looks nice, and kind. And very gentle." That satisfied her for the moment.
"But when will we go?" she asked
I knew this would come but when it did I could swear I swallowed cotton balls.
Although I know my father and where I'm going with children and a husband I just don't like to think about death in our family.
"I don't know honey. Probably not for a while, until we are older, unless Jesus wants to meet us early. But I think Mommy and Daddy will go there first. We will meet you there, ok?"
She smiles...good I didn't scare her...
"I'll walk down the golden sidewalk and you'll find me there. Then we can go to the castle." she said.
Yup that simple. Final. We have a meeting spot. Tear.
"What color is the streets? Gold too?"
"Are there cars in Heaven?"
"Can you show me a picture of Jesus?"
...
...
...
I have a feeling that there will be more on this topic coming from this sweet 4 year old.
And if not and I go tomorrow to meet my maker, I'll be satisfied that she knows where I'll be and I'll see her in a little while.
If you know God as your father, I'll meet you at the castle. If not pick up the bible. Stop off at a church. Double check that path of life of yours. Where are you headed? And if your not sure about all that, or the simple faith of a child, I have a good read for you. Heaven is for real by Todd Burpo. I don't doubt this little boy know what he experienced or saw for a moment.
Children have an insight we just can't compare to anything else. Listen to them. They got the faith we all need to strive for!
And that picture Alyssa...I'm pretty sure this is as close as it's going to get until you can meet him for yourself...
Combine all in sauce pan, bring slowly to a boil (about 15 minutes). Boil for 1 minute while stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in 3/4t. vanilla extract. Cool completely, stirring every once in a while to help with cooling process.
