"Tricho....what"?
Many have never heard of the word. Most never will. But as a Mom watching my daughter struggle with something I hit the internet determined to figure out what was going on in her 5 year old brain. What I found was the 5 year old brain is much more complex than I had ever hoped to need to investigate.
Trichotillomania:
(trick-o-til-o-MAY-nee-ah) is a disorder that causes people to pull out the hair from their scalp, eyelashes, eyebrows, pubic area, underarms, beard, chest, legs or other parts of the body, resulting in noticeable bald patches. Hair pulling varies greatly in its severity, location on the body, and response to treatment. For some people, at some times, trichotillomania is mild and can be quelled with a bit of extra awareness and concentration. For others, at times the urge may be so strong that it makes thinking of anything else nearly impossible.
Trichotillomania (also referred to as TTM or "trich") is currently defined as an impulse control disorder but there are still questions about how it should be classified. It may seem to resemble a habit, an addiction, a tic disorder or obsessive-compulsive disorder. Most recently, it is being conceptualized as part of a family of "body-focused repetitive behaviors" (BFRBs) along with skin picking and nail biting.
So there you have it. Still not sure what it is? Check out this website www.trich.org . It is loaded with information and helps me not feel so alone in this.
As a baby Alyssa always showed interest in my hair. Me, being a first time Mom, loved it. She would touch it while she nursed and nuzzle in it when she napped. Cute. As a toddler she would chase our cat and pull out handfuls of his black hair and shove it in her mouth. Gross. As a three year old she would her own hair on her cheek while sucking her fingers, which she's always done since birth. At four she had beautiful long hair and begun to tangle the bottom into knots. I was frustrated and scolded her often. Then cut it to shoulder length. I was not ready to say there was somthing wrong with my baby. As she turned five she began to pull it out. Right on top at the back of her part. At first I just found little hairballs and was thinking she was pulling out her knots. Then one day as I was brushing her hair I noticed a 2x2" area that was sparce. My heart sunk. The lump in my throat was huge. I felt ill. Sick. Sad. She's been five for 3 months. The area has gotten much larger and emptier. We've tried alot. First out of frustration we scolded, even yelled. Yes, I know it was wrong, but it was just two parents who didn't have a clue what to do. Now that we've identified it we are trying other methods. Rather than have her hide it we are openly talking about it. Yes, she says it hurts but she "has to do it." She also has several knots/clusters of hair that she has named (Del-Mar and Rudolph) and is keeping in a small bag. Totally weird I know but my thinking is if I let her keep it rather than demanding that she throw it out she may not pull more out. We will see. I also try to keep a ponytail in, and today she's wearing a cute hat. Both make it difficult to pull. I just purchased a book on trichotillomania and several fiddgets (toys to occupy ones fingers). I've joined several forums and have been doing alot of research.
Alyssa's actions fit this disorder exactly. I have no question this is what it is. Now the only questions in my mind are what the heck do I do? Hypnosis? Therapy? Medication? All are suggested, none proven.
What can I do? What can you do? Keep her busy! When her fingers are busy they are not pulling. We had a pretty good morning painting which she loves. And it's better not to say anything. No scolding, questioning, or anything. It seems that the more attention we put on stopping the worse it is.Today I'm taking it one day at a time. Prayers are appreciated.
12.19.2012
7.07.2012
Week 7 on WW
WW, yup you've guessed it Weight Watchers.
Nico was about 6 weeks old when I got up enough nerve and a bit of encouragement from an aunt to start thinking about myself again. It had been way too long! Dragging my butt out of bed at 6:30am on a Saturday, after only 5 hours of sleep isn't fun let me tell you. Baby number 3 is taking a toll. Maybe it's not really him but that it's NUMBER THREE! Oye, I don't know how the mama's with 10 do it. What were they thinking???? So after 3 babies and hitting my big 3-0 here I am.
I lost about 24 pounds before I set my foot in the WW meeting. And yes, I was pregnant and Nico was 9.2lbs of that. My big boy! To date in WW I've lost another 19 pounds. 19 pounds in 7 weeks? Not too shabby. Still a long long way. And honestly nobody notices those 43 pounds. How sad is that? Depressing but I'm not doing it for any of you. For me and my babies. I want to see each and everyone of them grow up, get married, and have my grandbabies. That's what we all live for anyways right?!
It's amazing the difference a simple meeting can make. Yes, I already know what they are saying. Losing weight isn't rocket science but it is a long long journey for most of us and it helps to hang with others on the same journey.
My struggle.... exercise. I simply loath it. I hate sweat. I'm just too much of a girl. So needless to say my current work out is simply running after the kids, playing at the park, going for a quick walk and lifting my son up and down. That I can stick to. All the runners can run on without me. You won't find me out there, especially in this 100 degree heat! Maybe some day when it's much, much cooler.
My strength? Finding new ways too cook and experiment with substitution. White pasta for wheat pasta? Yup and it's wonderful. And as long as I can forget the disgusted look on my hubbies face I'll make it again and again tell him how much better it is for him. A new recipe this week? Chocolate chip cheesecake. Yes, I said it CHEESECAKE! The photo was beautiful and sucked me right in and for 6 points I'll take it. I was super surprised to see the ingredients. For a girl who could never get over the look of cottage cheese give her a recipe with chocolate and cottage cheese and she'll try it! Yummy! The only thing I would do different is exchange the 2t. of almond extract for 1t. of vanilla. Other than that follow the recipe and yours will look just like this...
The next recipe I'm going to try...
Nico was about 6 weeks old when I got up enough nerve and a bit of encouragement from an aunt to start thinking about myself again. It had been way too long! Dragging my butt out of bed at 6:30am on a Saturday, after only 5 hours of sleep isn't fun let me tell you. Baby number 3 is taking a toll. Maybe it's not really him but that it's NUMBER THREE! Oye, I don't know how the mama's with 10 do it. What were they thinking???? So after 3 babies and hitting my big 3-0 here I am.
I lost about 24 pounds before I set my foot in the WW meeting. And yes, I was pregnant and Nico was 9.2lbs of that. My big boy! To date in WW I've lost another 19 pounds. 19 pounds in 7 weeks? Not too shabby. Still a long long way. And honestly nobody notices those 43 pounds. How sad is that? Depressing but I'm not doing it for any of you. For me and my babies. I want to see each and everyone of them grow up, get married, and have my grandbabies. That's what we all live for anyways right?!
It's amazing the difference a simple meeting can make. Yes, I already know what they are saying. Losing weight isn't rocket science but it is a long long journey for most of us and it helps to hang with others on the same journey.
My struggle.... exercise. I simply loath it. I hate sweat. I'm just too much of a girl. So needless to say my current work out is simply running after the kids, playing at the park, going for a quick walk and lifting my son up and down. That I can stick to. All the runners can run on without me. You won't find me out there, especially in this 100 degree heat! Maybe some day when it's much, much cooler.
My strength? Finding new ways too cook and experiment with substitution. White pasta for wheat pasta? Yup and it's wonderful. And as long as I can forget the disgusted look on my hubbies face I'll make it again and again tell him how much better it is for him. A new recipe this week? Chocolate chip cheesecake. Yes, I said it CHEESECAKE! The photo was beautiful and sucked me right in and for 6 points I'll take it. I was super surprised to see the ingredients. For a girl who could never get over the look of cottage cheese give her a recipe with chocolate and cottage cheese and she'll try it! Yummy! The only thing I would do different is exchange the 2t. of almond extract for 1t. of vanilla. Other than that follow the recipe and yours will look just like this...
The next recipe I'm going to try...
So I encourage you to do something for yourself today.
Something to make your life better.
Get out there and LIVE!
5.25.2012
To my Peanut- A Love Letter
Alyssa,
We called you peanut from day one. I don't know why. Maybe it was because you were so darn cute and it just seemed to fit. Plus I love peanuts :) Daddy and I wanted you and prayed for you for a long time. Seemed like forever but you finally made it into our arms 2 days after your due date. 8lbs 6oz of pure cuteness. You were the best baby, so happy and content. I left my job to spend my days with just you! We spent alot of time just snuggling which is why you love to snuggle so much. We would nap together any afternoon I could take time to relax. You insisted on laying in my arms and fell asleep right away. You still to this day want to sleep smack up against me, daddy or your sister. You have a bunk bed but we often find you on the bottom bunk with Giana, or her in your top bunk. You loved my hair and would have your fingers in it every second you could. I thought it was cute, then you got you own. Now, 4 years later, you still twist and tangle it. We would find knots that were impossible to get out! You had a ton of hair when you were born and it grew and grew. In December 2011, I cut it trying to help the tangling habit. I know someday we will look back on this and laugh, just not today :) You have alot of habits, just like I did when I was little and still do. You love your hair, you like to suck your two middle fingers on your right hand (they are always wet!), you like to pick the edges of your thumbs, and love to pick any boo boo you might have. I think you like to see how long they last. The last one on your forehead lasted 8 weeks! All these things make up you. I love you.
You are so smart! By 2 you knew your alphabet and were jabbering like crazy. We go to Neighbors Together every Tuesday morning where you are in a preschool class. You were always ahead on your learning: numbers, letters, writing, mathmatics, and you love art and painting. I get one more year with you home before your off to Kindergarten. I'm going to miss you but I know you will do great! I love how smart you are.
You also enjoy Sunday School. You have attended church since you were 16 days old. You love it! You enjoy the singing time, drawing pictures and learning about Jesus. We ask you each week what you learned and you always have something to tell us. If I ask you what you think about Jesus you say "I think God and Jesus have strong power!" I love that you are a child of God and know him already.
You love making new friends. Just the other day we were at Barely Used Clothing store and another little girl came to the play area. You just walked right up to her and said "I'm Alyssa, what's your name? I wear size 11 shoe, what size do you wear?" (p.s. you love shoes! Anytime someone comes over to the house you try on theirs. You did this since about 18 months old!) Anywhere we go there are "new" friends to be made. I love that you make friends so easily.
Right now you love playing with Pollys, playdoh, Barbies and love your swingset and sandbox. You love watching TV (mommy wishes you didn't). You LOVE to paint and ask to paint practically every day. You also love swimming. You don't know how to actually swim yet but do very well with swimmies. We have a hot tub and baby pool but Uncle Pat and Amy have a pool and you can't wait to swim when it's warmer. You usually ask to set up a pool weekly during the winter :) You love playing with Giana, but you also fight constently over toys. We enjoy going to the park on nice days and you love riding your bike. Its a blue and pink big girls bike with training wheels. You actually ride pretty slow :) I'm ok with this. You love to sing, dance, and pretend. You know lots of songs and are constently singing. You actually hold a tune well and your NT teacher said you lead the singing time in class and do so well. You also make up random songs. I think maybe you will be in chorus :) I love watching you play and sing.
Dress-up is a favorite thing to do. You are always changing your clothes. From frilly tutus to summer dresses, you just love dresses and changing them. Somedays you change 5 times. Therefore your room is a mess of clothes no matter how much I try to keep after. I love your fashion.
You have quite the personality. You are very opioniated and sometimes quite moody. But you still are my baby. I think you will be a very strong woman when you get older. I love your sass.
You have a new baby brother and you are so helpful. You help me get diapers and often soothe him when he's crying by singing. You also help Giana with lots of things. Your an awesome big sister.
I think I could go on and on forever. You are just an awesome little girl. At 43lbs and 4 1/2 years old you still steal my heart. I know you will go on to do great things and be a light to others. Your daddy and I love you so so much!
Some of your current favorites...
Favorite TV shows: "Dora and the movie sleeping beauty"
Favorite Color: "Blue and Pink"
Favorite Food: "Peas, and carrots, and brocoli, vegtables are good for me" (A song learned at NT)
Favorite Snack: "crackers"
Best Friend: "Harper and Joe and Korinne and Khloe."
Favorite Toy: "Lemon Meringue and Barbies"
When I grow up: "I'm gonna be in a parade and play the trumpet." (Yea, that was random, lol)
Favorite Song: "The tree one. I made it up" (You do this often)
Favorite Place to go: "To Chuckie Cheese"
Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy
We called you peanut from day one. I don't know why. Maybe it was because you were so darn cute and it just seemed to fit. Plus I love peanuts :) Daddy and I wanted you and prayed for you for a long time. Seemed like forever but you finally made it into our arms 2 days after your due date. 8lbs 6oz of pure cuteness. You were the best baby, so happy and content. I left my job to spend my days with just you! We spent alot of time just snuggling which is why you love to snuggle so much. We would nap together any afternoon I could take time to relax. You insisted on laying in my arms and fell asleep right away. You still to this day want to sleep smack up against me, daddy or your sister. You have a bunk bed but we often find you on the bottom bunk with Giana, or her in your top bunk. You loved my hair and would have your fingers in it every second you could. I thought it was cute, then you got you own. Now, 4 years later, you still twist and tangle it. We would find knots that were impossible to get out! You had a ton of hair when you were born and it grew and grew. In December 2011, I cut it trying to help the tangling habit. I know someday we will look back on this and laugh, just not today :) You have alot of habits, just like I did when I was little and still do. You love your hair, you like to suck your two middle fingers on your right hand (they are always wet!), you like to pick the edges of your thumbs, and love to pick any boo boo you might have. I think you like to see how long they last. The last one on your forehead lasted 8 weeks! All these things make up you. I love you.
You are so smart! By 2 you knew your alphabet and were jabbering like crazy. We go to Neighbors Together every Tuesday morning where you are in a preschool class. You were always ahead on your learning: numbers, letters, writing, mathmatics, and you love art and painting. I get one more year with you home before your off to Kindergarten. I'm going to miss you but I know you will do great! I love how smart you are.
You also enjoy Sunday School. You have attended church since you were 16 days old. You love it! You enjoy the singing time, drawing pictures and learning about Jesus. We ask you each week what you learned and you always have something to tell us. If I ask you what you think about Jesus you say "I think God and Jesus have strong power!" I love that you are a child of God and know him already.
You love making new friends. Just the other day we were at Barely Used Clothing store and another little girl came to the play area. You just walked right up to her and said "I'm Alyssa, what's your name? I wear size 11 shoe, what size do you wear?" (p.s. you love shoes! Anytime someone comes over to the house you try on theirs. You did this since about 18 months old!) Anywhere we go there are "new" friends to be made. I love that you make friends so easily.
Right now you love playing with Pollys, playdoh, Barbies and love your swingset and sandbox. You love watching TV (mommy wishes you didn't). You LOVE to paint and ask to paint practically every day. You also love swimming. You don't know how to actually swim yet but do very well with swimmies. We have a hot tub and baby pool but Uncle Pat and Amy have a pool and you can't wait to swim when it's warmer. You usually ask to set up a pool weekly during the winter :) You love playing with Giana, but you also fight constently over toys. We enjoy going to the park on nice days and you love riding your bike. Its a blue and pink big girls bike with training wheels. You actually ride pretty slow :) I'm ok with this. You love to sing, dance, and pretend. You know lots of songs and are constently singing. You actually hold a tune well and your NT teacher said you lead the singing time in class and do so well. You also make up random songs. I think maybe you will be in chorus :) I love watching you play and sing.
Dress-up is a favorite thing to do. You are always changing your clothes. From frilly tutus to summer dresses, you just love dresses and changing them. Somedays you change 5 times. Therefore your room is a mess of clothes no matter how much I try to keep after. I love your fashion.
You have quite the personality. You are very opioniated and sometimes quite moody. But you still are my baby. I think you will be a very strong woman when you get older. I love your sass.
You have a new baby brother and you are so helpful. You help me get diapers and often soothe him when he's crying by singing. You also help Giana with lots of things. Your an awesome big sister.
I think I could go on and on forever. You are just an awesome little girl. At 43lbs and 4 1/2 years old you still steal my heart. I know you will go on to do great things and be a light to others. Your daddy and I love you so so much!
Some of your current favorites...
Favorite TV shows: "Dora and the movie sleeping beauty"
Favorite Color: "Blue and Pink"
Favorite Food: "Peas, and carrots, and brocoli, vegtables are good for me" (A song learned at NT)
Favorite Snack: "crackers"
Best Friend: "Harper and Joe and Korinne and Khloe."
Favorite Toy: "Lemon Meringue and Barbies"
When I grow up: "I'm gonna be in a parade and play the trumpet." (Yea, that was random, lol)
Favorite Song: "The tree one. I made it up" (You do this often)
Favorite Place to go: "To Chuckie Cheese"
Hugs and Kisses,
Mommy
Love letters
I came across a blog that once in a while would write letters to their children. I loved it. I was only sad that I hadn't started sooner. Although I scrapbook, I haven't been one to document every silly saying and every monument. I know, I'm ashamed. I totally should be noting all the hilarious stuff they say. Most is on Facebook, but who looks back at that?? Anyways I thought I would start by writing each of my darlings a note on my blog. Its a start right? Maybe someday when I'm gone they will come across it. Or maybe there won't even be internet or blogs? Who knows. But anyways at least I have good intentions.
5.17.2012
So anyone wanna tell me what all the hoopla is about parenting? Please let's fight about how we feed our babies, how long we breastfeed, how we carry our babies, how long they sleep, where they sleep, how they sleep, nuks, how long to let cry, not letting them cry, babywearing, SAHM, working mama, carseats, self-sooth, self-wean, blah blah blah. I could go on for hours. The most recent Time Magazine has put it all out there, setting the fire, and making it onto all the tv and radio stations.
As a mama with a preschooler, toddler, and newborn I have heard it all. We get advice from everyone! What I've learned is to listen and take it all in as a "consideration". As a mom it's our choice what we do. It's our job to raise our child to the best of our abilities and no it doesn't matter how you feed them, just that they are fed. Are we totally forgetting the children with no parents? How about the ones that are starving? The ones that would love to be loved? Let's get our priorities straight people.
Cut yourself and your loved ones some slack. Lets stop de-grading each other and our parenting styles. How about just supporting all the mamas and being there for each other. Lord knows we need the support.
In the meantime lets hug our little ones, and raise them in a loving, Godly home.
2.28.2012
Our days
35 weeks! Over 5lbs, 18" , try carrying around a melon. Huge I know. I hate photos. But I won't be one of those mamas regretting that I have no photos carrying this little guy.I've been feeling ok, off and on days, very tired. The nesting has settled in and I feel ready to meet Nico any day. This next month will feel like forever! I've set up the crib, washed a bunch of little blue outfits and neatly tucked them away. My next step is making a rag quilt for him.
Braxon hicks contractions visit very often now and make me wonder how much longer?
My days include everything needed to get by. The typical day to day stuff. Breakfast, clean up, playtime, clean up, lunch time, clean up, more playtime, NAPS, dinner prep, dinner time, clean up, playtime, bathtime, playtime, jammies, potty and teeth, bedtime for the girls, me time, bedtime! Wow, alot of meal prep and clean up. I'm exhausted just typing that.
Thank God for mamas. My mama has the girls today for a bit while I do nothing. Yup, time for me. So how do I use it? Luncheon with the hubs, uploading pics, blogging, yes please!!!
My absolute favorite time of the day is nap time! Snuggling with these two cuties is just priceless. I love that they take naps togther and actually sleep, at least 2 hours! Time for a quick nap for me and time to prepare dinner too.
Old made new!
So about a year ago I took the trip of a lifetime to Rwanda. And during that time my 3 year old decided to "decorate" my micro fiber dinning room chairs.
Now just incase you don't own micro-fiber anything let me tell you that you never want to! It's a nightmare to keep clean, yes you can clean it but unless you have the time to clean it daily it will look disgusting! So do not buy it no matter what the sales person says!
Here's what they looked like...
Yes, all 6 of them had blue permanent sharpie marker on the seat. Each and every one!
But being I didn't have to see it first hand and I was super relaxed in another country I didn't totally freak. So I took advantage of the local fabric stands in the market and found a nice, not too loud fabric from Africa to re-upholster them. What a great plan.
Now my only problem was I had know clue what I was doing but how hard is it to staple some fabric onto a squarish chair? A screw gun made quick work of removing the seats, then to roughly cut the fabric, staple it on pulling it tight on all sides was all it too. The most difficult thing was to actually figure out how much fabric I needed. Just measure the seat adding 2" for each side to staple. Well a hundred staples later and a few long hours here is what I ended up with...
So needless to say I'm a happy girl. They look so much better and it was so worth it. I would've rather left them be with just fabric (it's a neater, more finished look) but aware I have a 2 and 4 year old with another on the way I took it a step farther and covered them all with a thin plastic cover which I also stapled over the fabric. Voila! Wipeable, super clean chairs. Now I can have company :)
Now do I cover the couches and all the other furniture with plastic too? That may be a bit much!
But I definitely am not scared to take a double look at anything that needs recovered. Spring garage sales beware!
I love saving $$$$$ and re-purposing things. Wins all around.
1.26.2012
In a four year olds eyes...tears in mine...
In the last week or so, the subject of Heaven has come up numerous times from my 4 year old. It always surprises me. Not because we don't have "Jesus" conversations but because when she brings it up it's never close to a similar conversation. Always totally out of the blue.
In the car...
"Mama, what does Heaven look like?"
My first answer was "I dunno honey, what do you think?"
"Pretty" she replied
"I'm sure it is! I think the roads are golden and sparkly. And I think there are castles to live in, and always beautiful sunshine."
Yup, I'm sure God loves sparkles as much as I do!
We went on to discuss the "no crying, no sickness, no sadness", so on and so on.
Then with the most excitment I've seen in a conversation not having to do with candy...
"Mama, when I see Jesus I'm going to go up and sit on his lap and hug him because he's the best daddy ever!" This made me smile through the lump in my throat and stinging eyes.
The only response I could get out is "aren't you lucky you have two special daddy's that love you so much!?"
"uh huh!" she replied.
That must've gotten her wheels turning. Three days later at bedtime...
"Mama, when we will get to go to Heaven?"
This is what gets me. I don't want to think of leaving these sweet girls.
"Well honey, when your older and your body gets tired."
"Elsie (my parents elderly neighbor) is old. And Happy Pappy (my brother-in-laws father) is old too."
"Yup, they may get to go before us." I say
"Or maybe when Jesus decides he wants someone with him." was my reply, and I was happy with it.
I didn't want to corner myself for the next time she picks up word of someone younger taken too early.
"What does Jesus look like? How will I know it is him?" she questioned
"Oh you'll know! He looks nice, and kind. And very gentle." That satisfied her for the moment.
"But when will we go?" she asked
I knew this would come but when it did I could swear I swallowed cotton balls.
Although I know my father and where I'm going with children and a husband I just don't like to think about death in our family.
"I don't know honey. Probably not for a while, until we are older, unless Jesus wants to meet us early. But I think Mommy and Daddy will go there first. We will meet you there, ok?"
She smiles...good I didn't scare her...
"I'll walk down the golden sidewalk and you'll find me there. Then we can go to the castle." she said.
Yup that simple. Final. We have a meeting spot. Tear.
"What color is the streets? Gold too?"
"Are there cars in Heaven?"
"Can you show me a picture of Jesus?"
...
...
...
I have a feeling that there will be more on this topic coming from this sweet 4 year old.
And if not and I go tomorrow to meet my maker, I'll be satisfied that she knows where I'll be and I'll see her in a little while.
If you know God as your father, I'll meet you at the castle. If not pick up the bible. Stop off at a church. Double check that path of life of yours. Where are you headed? And if your not sure about all that, or the simple faith of a child, I have a good read for you. Heaven is for real by Todd Burpo. I don't doubt this little boy know what he experienced or saw for a moment.
Children have an insight we just can't compare to anything else. Listen to them. They got the faith we all need to strive for!
And that picture Alyssa...I'm pretty sure this is as close as it's going to get until you can meet him for yourself...
In the car...
"Mama, what does Heaven look like?"
My first answer was "I dunno honey, what do you think?"
"Pretty" she replied
"I'm sure it is! I think the roads are golden and sparkly. And I think there are castles to live in, and always beautiful sunshine."
Yup, I'm sure God loves sparkles as much as I do!
We went on to discuss the "no crying, no sickness, no sadness", so on and so on.
Then with the most excitment I've seen in a conversation not having to do with candy...
"Mama, when I see Jesus I'm going to go up and sit on his lap and hug him because he's the best daddy ever!" This made me smile through the lump in my throat and stinging eyes.
The only response I could get out is "aren't you lucky you have two special daddy's that love you so much!?"
"uh huh!" she replied.
That must've gotten her wheels turning. Three days later at bedtime...
"Mama, when we will get to go to Heaven?"
This is what gets me. I don't want to think of leaving these sweet girls.
"Well honey, when your older and your body gets tired."
"Elsie (my parents elderly neighbor) is old. And Happy Pappy (my brother-in-laws father) is old too."
"Yup, they may get to go before us." I say
"Or maybe when Jesus decides he wants someone with him." was my reply, and I was happy with it.
I didn't want to corner myself for the next time she picks up word of someone younger taken too early.
"What does Jesus look like? How will I know it is him?" she questioned
"Oh you'll know! He looks nice, and kind. And very gentle." That satisfied her for the moment.
"But when will we go?" she asked
I knew this would come but when it did I could swear I swallowed cotton balls.
Although I know my father and where I'm going with children and a husband I just don't like to think about death in our family.
"I don't know honey. Probably not for a while, until we are older, unless Jesus wants to meet us early. But I think Mommy and Daddy will go there first. We will meet you there, ok?"
She smiles...good I didn't scare her...
"I'll walk down the golden sidewalk and you'll find me there. Then we can go to the castle." she said.
Yup that simple. Final. We have a meeting spot. Tear.
"What color is the streets? Gold too?"
"Are there cars in Heaven?"
"Can you show me a picture of Jesus?"
...
...
...
I have a feeling that there will be more on this topic coming from this sweet 4 year old.
And if not and I go tomorrow to meet my maker, I'll be satisfied that she knows where I'll be and I'll see her in a little while.
If you know God as your father, I'll meet you at the castle. If not pick up the bible. Stop off at a church. Double check that path of life of yours. Where are you headed? And if your not sure about all that, or the simple faith of a child, I have a good read for you. Heaven is for real by Todd Burpo. I don't doubt this little boy know what he experienced or saw for a moment.
Children have an insight we just can't compare to anything else. Listen to them. They got the faith we all need to strive for!
And that picture Alyssa...I'm pretty sure this is as close as it's going to get until you can meet him for yourself...
Family Fun Valentine Mice
Hi Mamas!
I just wanted to share with you my ultimate favorite magazine at the moment...
FAMILY FUN MAGAZINE !
(not to be confused, with Family Circle, which I did when subscribing. :( They are so not the same thing!)
My girls are now 2 & 4 and they both have spent a lot of time going through this magazine, page by page to find their next "craft". The crafts are usually very inexpensive and you normally have most the materials on hand or can scrounge them off a friend without spending a penny. There are also recipes and more in this magazine and it's finally one I've found I'm not frustrated with a million ads and no info.
Here is our last craft...
Valentine Mice!
We had some friends over and whipped out 4 little mice in no time. Felt, yarn and glue and you can too!
1.20.2012
The Sugar Cubes Triple Chocolate Cupcake
Oh yes I did!
I just took several recipes, combined them, changed them a tad and made a awesome chocolaty chocolate, chocolate covered cupcake. This has got to be the best I've ever had!
I took a favorite chocolate cupcake recipe...
filled it with the best "heavenly hot fudge"...
and covered it in chocolate ganache!
OMG! (and I hate texting abbreviations, but it's just that good).
So here I am sharing it before I forget what I did.
3c. Flour
2c. Sugar
2c. Sugar
1/2c. Instant vanilla pudding
1/2c. Cocoa
2t. Baking Soda
1t. Salt
Combine and sift the above dry ingredients and add
2/3c. oil
1/2c. Cocoa
2t. Baking Soda
1t. Salt
Combine and sift the above dry ingredients and add
2/3c. oil
2c. water
2T. white vinegar
2T. white vinegar
2t. vanilla
Mix until blended. Pour into 24 cupcake papers (about 2/3 full at least), and bake at 350degrees for 20-25 minutes until raised and cake tester comes out clean. Cool completely.
Mix until blended. Pour into 24 cupcake papers (about 2/3 full at least), and bake at 350degrees for 20-25 minutes until raised and cake tester comes out clean. Cool completely.
Meanwhile you'll wanna make the hot fudge filling so that it can thicken and cool completely.
Heavenly Hot Fudge Sauce
2c. Sifted powdered sugar
6oz. Chocolate chips
1/2c. Butter
12oz. can evaporated milk
1/4t. salt
Combine all in sauce pan, bring slowly to a boil (about 15 minutes). Boil for 1 minute while stirring constantly. Remove from heat and stir in 3/4t. vanilla extract. Cool completely, stirring every once in a while to help with cooling process.
When both the cupcakes and hot fudge is room temperature take a squeeze bottle or piping bag (bottle is way easier b/c the sauce isn't very thick), insert the tip it into the cupcake and gently squeeze desired amount into the center. You'll notice the cupcake "bulge" with sauce when it's full. Save the extra sauce for dipping :)
Next make...
Chocolate Ganache Frosting
3, 4oz bars semi sweet baking chocolate, chopped
3/8c. whipping cream (aka 1/2 of 3/4c. confusing but necessary)
Bring cream to a simmer over low heat in a small sauce pan. Remove from heat and add chocolate, stir until melted and cool until it is a good spreading consistency. Makes about 1 1/4c.
Now, your almost done! Spread the ganache carefully over top the cupcakes, covering your fudge hole (hehe) and making them irresistible!
Don't forget to try one, just in case something went wrong. Cut it nicely into bite size pieces or put all guilt aside and shove it into your mouth! OMG YUMMY!
3, 4oz bars semi sweet baking chocolate, chopped
3/8c. whipping cream (aka 1/2 of 3/4c. confusing but necessary)
Bring cream to a simmer over low heat in a small sauce pan. Remove from heat and add chocolate, stir until melted and cool until it is a good spreading consistency. Makes about 1 1/4c.
Now, your almost done! Spread the ganache carefully over top the cupcakes, covering your fudge hole (hehe) and making them irresistible!
Don't forget to try one, just in case something went wrong. Cut it nicely into bite size pieces or put all guilt aside and shove it into your mouth! OMG YUMMY!
My little helper.
1.05.2012
Bring on 2012!
As I sat on our couch, taking a breather (so necessary whether your preggo or not), I watched the girls play together with their new mansion of a Barbie doll house. I remember my childhood like it was yesterday. Actually I still feel like it really wasn't that long ago but as the big 3 0 came upon I realized that I've grown up. Did you ever have a real WOW moment that time has just been flying by you? I know, everyone tells you to love each moment of life and be grateful for the time you have, and the time you have with your children. Now I'm finding myself saying this to other new moms. And I feel like I've listened to their advice, but never enough. "I have a 4 year old." I heard myself say out loud. Yup, DH laughed at me. But seriously
I have a 4 year old, a 2 year old and a big baby bump that isn't getting smaller anytime soon! Where the heck did time go!!! I find myself wanting to squeeze both my daughters...forever...like it would help keep them small and adorable. But on the other hand I can't wait to see what God has in mind for their lives.
As I look back on 2011, look back through pictures, it pains me to think I will never have those exact times with my daughters...ever again. Yup sappy, preggo here! But as I look forward to meeting my love #3, I can't wait to see what 2012 beholds.
Hang on to each day, each minute, but don't hold on so tight that you forget to look forward to tomorrow. Because tomorrow is coming whether we like it or not.
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